Not Another Bite Please

I really enjoy food and drinks. I hate eating and drinking it as a result of my frail, unevolved body's inability to metabolize sun or sustain cold fusion. But even if my body did run on the energy left over from merging atomic nuclei, I'd still like to eat occassionally just for the pure pleasure of it. Plenty of aural and visual stimulation to be had, as well as tactile (get your mind out of the gutter!). But taste and smell are dominanted by food and drink. The smell of a great glass of wine that somehow blends together fruits, chocolate, earth, and alcohol. The taste and texture of a well done medium-rare steak grilled to perfection[TM]. Necessity and luxury don't always have to be mutually exclusive though, and this is why I love being Chinese.

There's just about nothing that the Chinese will not eat and that is a good thing. The gustatory possiblities are incredible when one is willing to eat everything from frog legs to animal buttocks. But when in China, sometimes the luxurious aspect of food can be overwhelming. Example of a possible day when I'm in China visiting family and friends:

9AM: Awake.
10:00AM: Breakfast of a glass of milk, and a couple of buns (meat and vegetable).
10:30AM: Leave for an early lunch. Have trouble believing that the eating is starting again.
10:45AM: Lunch of various Cantonese dishes. Then dessert. Then dim sum.
1:00PM: Visit people. Offered watermelon. Consume out of respect.
4:00PM: Somebody gets hungry. Stop for a snack.
6:30PM: Dinner time. 8 appetizer dishes (keep it small). Roast duck. Paired with 4-5 main dishes (keep it small, right?). Dessert.
8:30PM: Karaoke with friends and family. Drinks all around. Some light snacks (chow mein, chow fun, roast pork, half cow).
11:00PM: Dessert in earnest. Shaved ice (with condensend milk, beans, rice jelly, mango, etc.)
11:45PM: Snacks.
12:30:AM: Body retaliates. Tries to puke a little.

I wonder how Chinese people ever stay thin...