This Call May Be Monitored

Cingular: Welcome to Cingular Wireless. Please enter your cingular wireless number.
Me: ###-###-####.

C: If you are not a cingular customer, please say "new customer". If you are an existing customer please say "I am an existing customer."
M: How would I have a cingular wireless number if I am not yet a cingular customer?

C: If you are not a cin
M: I am an existing customer.

C: You have said that you are an existing customer. Is this correct?
M: Fuck you! Yes!

C: I'm sorry, please say only "yes" or "no".
M: This is stupid. Why sh

C: I'm sorry, please say only
M: Yes!

C: Thank y
M: FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU

C: ou. Please wait we while we access your acount information.
M: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

C: If you are calling about account number ###-###-####, please press 1. If you are calling about a different number, please press 2.
M: *presses 2*

C: Please enter the number you are calling about.
M: *presses ###-###-####*

C: If you would like to continue in English, please press 1 or stay on the line. [Spanish equivalent].
M: *waits*

C: Please wait while we transfer you. *beep beep*
M: Yeah fuck you too.

C: *beep beep again*
M: ...

C: If you are calling about account number ###-###-####, please press 1. If you are calling about a different number, please press 2.
M: *presses 2 again*

C: Please enter the number you are calling about.
M: *presses ###-###-#### again*

C: If you would like to continue in English, please press 1 or stay on the line. [Spanish equivalent].
M: *waits again*

C: Please wait while we transfer you. *beep beep*
M: Yeah fuck you too again.

C: *hangs up*
M: *rapes self in frustration*