Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Spinning Advice

Some advice on practicing spinning poi:

Make your own practice poi. Small bags of rice in socks will do. And in a pinch, you can smack your opponent with your dirty sock-poi and demand satisfaction. Much more humiliating than a glove and if you're lucky, he'll get an infection and die from that nasty sock poi you've been swinging around everywhere before you'll have to avoid confronting him at the appointed time because you're a pansy and never really wanted a duel in the first place but goddamit you can't retract a satisfaction demand.

For the guys: watch out for your groin. You're going to be working on that forward 5-beat weave and you're going to think you're the (somewhat effeminate) man when you start getting it down when all of a sudden, *fwap*, a rice bag nails you in the groin. Then it's an emphatic *ooph*, a bit of doubling over, some embarassed laughter, and no kids for Johnny. Don't let poi ruin your chances to propagate your seed. Let your social awkwardness and that nervous tick do it instead. It's what they're there for.

For the girls: secretly watch your boyfriend practice poi. Sooner or later he'll smack himself in the groin and it'll be hilarious. No children for you guys but it's not like you wanted to poop out a mankind propagator anytime soon or anything and besides, you were thinking about ditching him in a month or two anyway. I mean seriously, what is UP with that hair???


Shryh said...

One would think that there would be a 'wiffle' version for poi-spinning newbies. >)

Me said...

There is, but even that can hurt. The groin is a sensitive region, you know? =P