Thursday, December 08, 2005

A Whole New World

I'm going to be visiting some relatives soon and so I thought I'd do some shopping, see if there any little gifts which might be cute to bring them. I made a gift run only a few months before though so the pressure is off. As I was musing outloud, B gave me a coupon for $x off $y at Bath & Body Works. Great, I thought, maybe I could find something there.

So last night, B (a different B, a guy) and I went to browse Bath and Body Works. We were both going to attend an end-of-the-quarter dinner at a restaurant but I wanted to swing by the downtown mall before to see if I could use the coupon. B claimed threatened to just stand outside and wait while I browsed this store that would baffle even the cleverest of males (and many unsuspecting females).

"Hi, can I help you find something?"

"No, just looking around, thanks!"

Yeah right. Big fat lie from me. I didn't know what was going on in that store. There are what looks like tubes of paint with the words "aromatherapy" written on them. So are they tubes of aroma? No, it's "body lotion". Then there's a bewildering selection of massage oils, relaxing massage oils, invigorating massage oils, smoothing oils, body wash, body splash, foam wash, etc. etc. etc. ad infinitum say no more say no more. And pillow mist. Pillow mist??? Is that like a pillow finely ground and then suspended in liquid only to be aerosolized? Axe claims to get you hot girls and I've seen Tag Body Spray for Sick Cats but surely my surrounding airspace doesn't need the essence of pillows in it? Ohhhhh, you spray it on the pillows. Why? The better to aid asphyxiophilia, my dear.

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